Our Story
On Monday, September 8th, we knew something was wrong. Erin had a mammogram that day. By Wednesday, the ultrasound showed a solid mass in her left breast. The right side looked odd, but safe. The left side was the problem. A week later, the biopsy. Erin called every day trying to move it up. "No cancellations," the nurse said. So we waited. And waited. Friday came. Results dropped into the MyChart app. No call. No face. Just words on a screen. Triple positive.
Invasive ductal carcinoma. 2.5 cm. No lymph nodes.
I opened it. Read it. Stoic. Frozen. Adrenaline hit my bones.
Dang. It’s real.
Three weeks before, we were at Zeke’s first football game. I wore sunglasses to hide tears.
Now here we are.
Ella asked, “Will Mom lose her hair?”
“Yeah,” I said. “Can you help us find some good wigs?”
We laughed. Because sometimes you have to.
It feels like that painting we bought the week before our cancer story begins. Dark Skies. A storm rolling in. And the hope of the morning to come.
Ominous. Hopeful.
We bought a bottle of Caymus wine. It waits for us.
We’ll open it when this is over to celebrate what the Lord has done.
“Because the Lord is near. And here. With us. And we rest in that.”
Love, The Murrays
Daily Updates
The Power of Being There
Simon Sinek tells a great story about how to help people in hard times. It goes something like this. A friend of his had a buddy who had just lost his dad. Not knowing what to do or say, he left him a voicemail. “Hey, I’m not sure what to...
Joy: The Most Vulnerable Emotion by Erin
The scripture of the day on my Bible app is Philippians 4:4 — “Rejoice in the Lord always. Again I will say it, Rejoice!” Not necessarily something profound or new, but as I read it to the kids at breakfast and we talked about what this means — is this...
November 10th, 2025: Treatment Plan and Progress
```html Practical Update: Treatment Plan and Progress And now for a more practical update for those following along. Erin’s current TCHP treatment has four rounds still to be completed. TC is the traditional chemotherapy you think of — the kind associated with hair loss, fatigue, and other side effects. HP...
November 8th, 2025: A Houseful of Dreams
A Houseful of Dreams At breakfast this morning, I started singing a random line to the kids: “I’ve got one silver sovereign in my pocket and a house full of dreams.” Ella, giving me the side-eye eleven-year-old girls much smarter than their dad often do: “It’s not a house full...
Monday, October 27th : Chemo Round 2
It’s odd how doing something twice can make it feel so familiar. We gathered our cooler, got the dry ice, weighted blanket, and rolled into Joe Arrington Cancer Center for round two of TCHP chemotherapy. Even the word “chemotherapy” stings less with time. First, we saw the oncologist. He walks...
Evidence
I’ve gone to church my entire life. So has Erin. Growing up in the Assembly of God, we attended Sunday morning church, Sunday morning Sunday School, Sunday evening church, and Wednesday evening church. Every week. Around third grade, we switched to a non-denominational church. Which is a funny name for...
Bread on the Doorstep
We had been in chemo for a few hours. I got up to get a cup of water from the water station a few “rooms” from us. "Rooms" is a generous term. They are open cubicles, no privacy, stacked maybe ten feet apart from each other. The setup isn’t unpleasant,...
October 24th: Can Guilt and Shame Make You Sick?
A few weeks ago we met with a holistic nurse practitioner based in Boise, Idaho. She’s amazing. And expensive. We scheduled a ninety-minute call with her. She gave a lot of practical tips and some “crunchy” ideas. Shoutout to all the crunchy folks out there. One idea: eat more duck...
Thursday, October 16th: What Are You Waiting For?
I was the kid that “wanted to be older,” wanted to get to the next step — leaning in to the adult conversations long before I was really invited. Living for Fridays, or the end of a semester, a year, a season. Looking forward to the “what’s ahead,” and when...
Monday - October 13th, Weekend Update
It’s hard to tell people when you don’t feel well. Maybe it’s because you want to feel well. And by admitting you don’t feel well, it only makes it worse? And so Erin is feeling “good, not great” most of the time. This weekend was probably the worst of it...
Friday, October 10th — Five Days Post Chemo
Overall, Erin is feeling good. Headache, fatigue, but no other symptoms at the moment, which we are grateful for. We’re waiting for more severe side effects to hit. We watched one lady on YouTube with breast cancer say during chemo, “You kinda just go about life as normal if you...
Welcome to Vulnerability
Let’s talk about vulnerability… The week we found out about this was the week of Ella’s birthday — our daughter who has been planning her 11th birthday with all of its details, intricacies, parties, gift suggestions, menu, décor, guest list, etc., from the moment her last birthday was over. I’ve...
The Power of the Mind
“And now, dear brothers and sisters, one final thing. Fix your thoughts on what is true, and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise. Keep putting into practice all you learned and received from me—everything you heard from...
Sprint Towards Them
Jesus Is Evident in Their Actions I’ve gone to church my entire life. So has Erin. Growing up Assembly of God, we attended Sunday morning church, Sunday morning Sunday School, Sunday evening church, and Wednesday evening church. Every week. Around third grade, we switched to a non-denominational church. Which, is...
The Lord in the Decades
The Lord is in the decades. We want Him in the moment, and He is in the moment. Always present. Always near. He also often works in the decades. In His timing, not ours. Erin worked in the ICU a decade ago at a local hospital. There, she met and...
Chemo Starts Today
Chemo starts today. I looked at the computer screen. It showed fifteen others here for treatment as well. Two younger than us. Cancer doesn't discriminate. Half of my brain is screaming, pleading: Why is this happening to us? To her? We didn't choose this. We shouldn't be here. The other...
Dark Skies and Hope: When Life Changes Everything
We bought a piece of art called Dark Skies. We love it. It's moody, unique, and shows a storm rolling over a grassy field. It's ominous. And hopeful. Perhaps that's what storms are — ominous. Dark and loud, windy and the potential for damage, the potential for danger. And also...
Caymus Wine and Hope
We aren't big wine drinkers. But last September we went to Napa Valley and truly enjoyed the Caymus wine. It's expensive wine to us ($68 a bottle). Not expensive to true wine connoisseurs. Again, we aren't big wine drinkers. Today, while shopping at Costco I saw a bottle of Caymus....
The Medical System: Broken and Amazing
The medical system is broken. If you don't advocate, if you don't fight, if you don't question, if you don't know what to ask, you get put into a box, put into the system. And also, the medical system is amazing. HER2 positive has amazing breakthrough treatments. Survival rates were...
The Weight of Waiting: Navigating a Broken Medical System
Life can go by so fast. Routines, crazy schedules, raising kids. It feels like it's always Friday again, and always summer again, and always school starting again. The days are long and the years are short. Or so they say. Life can also slow to a screeching halt. Time stands...
A Broken Spirit, A Contrite Heart
A broken spirit. A broken and contrite heart. If this is what it takes to have more of the Lord, then let it be. Psalm 51:10-17 10 Create in me a clean heart, O God; and renew a right spirit within me. 11 Cast me not away from thy presence;...
Port Placement Friday and Chemo Starts Monday
Port placement surgery scheduled for Friday. Be there at 6am. They tell us. In the My Charts app again. It's crazy how devastating a cancer diagnosis is for so many. And how dehumanized the entire process is. It'll cease to be shocked. And that's ok. I'm not sure what I'm...
G.I. Jane and Wigs: Embracing the Journey Ahead
Ella's first question was "Will Mom lose her hair?" At that moment, we didn't know. But now we are pretty sure she will. And she will be hotter than ever. I'm thinking a pink wig, and we rock it in Vegas for a few days. Or G.I. Jane style. Bald...
I Am The Storm
We have friends worried we won't take the western medicine approach. And they should be worried. And I love that we have friends who care enough to worry for us. I honestly do. And we hate the western medicine approach. The poison and cutting and chemo and hormone blockers and...
You Don't Notice Things Until You Do
You don't notice things until you do. It's October now—probably the best month of the year, in my humble opinion. Texas Tech (at the moment) looks good at football again, which makes fall in Lubbock special. With football on TV, I'm noticing commercials about breast cancer. Breast Cancer Awareness Month...
Port Placement and Chemo Starts Monday
Port placement was Friday. Port day sounds more fun while on a cruise than on a cancer journey. It went smooth. Erin bounced back and spent the day being mom as if nothing happened. Taking care of the house and kids and going to the Plainsmen homecoming game and then...
Triple Positive: Research, Faith, and Fighting Back
Since we found out something was wrong -- ten short and very long days ago – I've been stuck with this sinking feeling in my stomach. I haven't had this feeling in a long time but I remember it well from my youth. You feel nauseous yet not sick, almost...
Fighting for Appointments: When No Doesn't Mean No
If I'm honest, I don't like writing about any of this. I hate bringing to the surface the words and hurt and pain this season is causing us. I didn't write anything the last two days. We were in Dallas visiting doctors. Monday morning we sat at the table and...
The Hardest Day So Far
It's Friday. The hardest day of the journey so far. We now of results. We no longer have to guess. And now we start telling our closest friends and family. Which is difficult. I hate it. I want to be the bearer of good news. Positive. I don't want to...
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